i used to miss you, crave you, hate you .. when your touch was real i was so naive to the world. after it was gone i still saw your face more often than not.
soon you faded into my dreams, haunting me, reassuring me. i couldn’t let go. i didn’t want to.
self pity. self indulgence. drowning the world around me out, while being so invovled with it.
i was never sure what i believe in.i don’t know myself, but when i try to or think that i finally do, it’s only more confusing. i know i wont know me, and that’s how i know who i am.
its drifted from consciousness to unconscious states, and now i only see you when I’m in between worlds, not quite asleep, not quite awake. neither here nor there.
oh but what a conversation we had last night. it wasnt real, but ive never been more sure, as i saw you sitting there….
part of me exists there. part here. so separate, but i think it meshes. both of me is happy
i am strange i am weird i standout i think in odd directions i am atypical . im plain im boring i blend in im normal . im average . just a girl. i am a poster girl for self conscious vanity indecisive analytical mess wrapped with a touch of classiness i will never be satisfied its never going to be enough . theres always a new level of addiction or perfection to achieve , a flaw to rid
Day 8- a photo that makes me sad and angry . im still amix of emotions and those arethe deinate prominet two
Day 07 — A photo that makes you happy .. my bestfriend on occasion.. what a good time we had at that shitty bar
feelng artsy today . arts crafts, scapbooks, markers, glue, sparkles !
i keep feeling the tinge of autumn in the hot summer air. maybe its just wishful thinking .. i think any big plans to be made in the future or are either in june or the begininga of autumn
“’Get to your places!’ shouted the Queen in a voice of thunder, and people began running about in all directions, tumbling up against each other; however, they got settled down in a minute or two, and the game began.”
“ a pair of shoes can change your life, just ask cinderella ”
Day 05 — Your favorite quote
this is my favorite this week
.i felt your heart beat
my head is consumed with lust . my body riddled with desire.
my heart is swimming in knowledge.
is it all just me? have i gone through the exit sign in my brain, if so the door is locked, no way back in..
so much to say so much to write . every desire to create . and i cant seem to get utensil to paper or keyboard, maybe i’ll loose everything mid thought?
summer nights are like a glass of passion lemonade. my favorite feeling. favorite taste, smell and comsumption. being involved in a summer night is so rejuvinating
so scattered brained.
planning a future. making plans to make plans. checking off todo lists. excited. thrilled. anxious. nervous.
but what happens when i walk away?. your head is in your hands. will i ? should i stop it now? let it run?
pre deja vu.
deja vu its like a bad cold i cant get rid of.
